Whiskey Lullaby
by hotrodren
Summary: Thoughtless words spoken in the heat of the moment changes two lives forever.


A/N: This is my first fic, my friend demanded I write her something. So Im still trying to figure all this out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, if I did, Gruvia would have been cannon LONG ago.

"Um...Gray" Juvia said nervously as she approached the ice mage.

"Not now Juvia" He replied, not bothering to look up from his beer as he sat at the bar.

"Juvia was just..." she tried to say before being cut off as Gray turned around and started yelling "Damn it, I said not now. Whatever it is I don't care, I'm not interested. Just leave me alone. Why don't you understand I don't want you around"

Tears welling up in her eyes the water mage quickly turned around and ran out of the guild, dropping the piece of paper in her hand.

The guild, which was half full with the usual mid-afternoon crowd, silently stared at the ice mage, shocked by what they had just witnessed. They all knew of Juvia's love of the man, she had never hidden it, though since they returned from the Grand magic games and all that had ensued afterwards, she had backed off a bit. She had dropped the honorific from his name and even stopped 'observing' him like she used to. They all knew he cared for her too, though he was too damn tsundere to do anything about it. No one would have believed he would yell at the woman had they not witnessed it for themselves.

"GRAY!" Mira yelled from behind the bar, a demonic glow surrounding her. Gray just glared at the barmaid, not moving from his slouched position over his beer. He was not in the mood for a lecture.

"Dude" said Natsu, picking up the piece of paper Juvia had dropped as he waked up to his team mate at the bar. "She was just trying to give you this" He said looking at the paper "looks like it's a message from the Master"

"Shit" Gray took the paper from the dragon slayer and read it.

_Gray, we have a special request mission that I need you and Juvia to take. I have given Juvia all the details, but we must keep information on this to as few people as possible. I know this week is difficult for both of you, but I know if the two of you put your minds to it you can overcome the week and easily complete the task. You need to leave on the late night train. _

Gray knew why this week would be hard for himself, it was the anniversary of his parents death. But he had no idea why the Master would say the week was hard for Juvia. _Must just be because she knows this week is bad for me_ Gray thought to himself.

"Mira is gramps in the office?" He asked the barmaid, who had been staring at him.

"No, he's out of the guild for the afternoon. Gray, you need to go apologize to Juvia. Especially seeing as she was only trying to deliver a message to you."

"Yeah I know" He responded, eyeing the now rather violent storm raging outside "but I think I should let her calm down a bit...gimme a shot will ya?"

* * *

><p>"STRIPPER!" A very soaked Iron dragon slayer bellowed as he stormed into the guild. It had been 3 hours since Juvia had run out of the guild, and the storm outside had not let up. "WHERE IS THE BASTARD?!"<p>

"Hes over here Gajeel" Mira said from behind the bar.

The next thing the guild knew Gajeel had Gray pinned against the wall by the throat. "What the fuck did you do to Juvia?!"

"What makes you think I did anything to her?" Gray gasped as he tried to loosen the dragon slayers grip on his neck.

"You don't think I know my best friend's rain?" He yelled slamming the ice mage into the wall again "you don't think I can smell her tears in the rain? This is the rain woman's storm and the only person who could make her this upset is YOU. So I'll ask you again ice bastard, WHAT DID YOU DO TO JUVIA?!"

"I may have kinda yelled at her earlier" Gray said, stepping back from the angry man.

"Tsk, you did more than just kinda yell at her, you crushed her spirit." Laxus said from his stool at the corner of the bar.

"What do you mean he crushed her spirit?" Gajeel questioned as he grabbed the ice mage's coller not letting him escape his side.

"Simple, while he was yellin at her when she was tryin to give him a message from the old man, he went and told her he didn't want her around."

"YOU WHAT?! DO YOU HAVE ICE FOR FUCKING BRAINS? WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHIN LIKE THAT TO HER ON THIS OF ALL WEEKS?" The iron dragon slayer yelled, not caring who heard at this point.

"Why does everyone keep mentioning this week, yeah it's when MY parents died. What the hell does that have to do with Juvia?" Gray retorted, growing angrier at the increasing amount of people in his business.

"Incase you haven't noticed princess, the world doesn't revolve around you. This week is especially bad for Juvia as well."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know for a guy who talks about how she's his nakama, you sure don't know about her." Gajeel gave an exasperated sigh "fine, sit down, shut up and I'll explain. Then you're gonna fix this...Juvia was born with an exceptional amount of magic power, more than most mage's infact. That's why she has the ability to control the rain. Even among water mages, that is rare. As you know she hasn't had the control over the rain very long, so you can imagine that as a small child she had zero control over it. When she was around 4 her parents gave up, decided they couldn't handle it anymore. They left her at an orphanage telling the nuns the couldn't handle having her around anymore. Course, she was little enough at the time so they got her adopted out pretty quickly. However the family that adopted her soon discovered her magic and her lack of control. They kept her around for a few years but they decided they to couldn't handle her. They knew of the attacks happening to the north, the destruction and orphans Delora was leaving in his wake. They decided to dump her in a village hoping that either someone would find her and think she was just another orphan who had somehow survived, or that she would get caught in another attack by the monster. That happened all those years ago this week. Their plan worked, and she was bounced around between orphanages for years never being wanted, adopted or even just accepted. So maybe you can understand why this week is so hard on her."

Gray was shocked at what he had just learned. "Why didn't she ever tell me" Gray whispered to no one in particular.

"How could she, you spend all your time pushing her away. how can you expect to get to know anyone if you keep them at arms length?" Mira said as she wiped down the bar. "Now look Gray, the storm has let up, maybe you should go try and talk to her. You need to patch things up with her so you can get on to whatever the Master was wanting you to do."

"Yeah, your right." Gray said standing up.

"Hold it ice prick. Why don't we send Levy to see if she's even willing to see you right now" Gajeel said forcing Gray to sit back down. "Oi Shrimp!" He yelled to the bluenet who was sitting with Lucy a few seats down at the bar. "Take bunny girl and go check on Juvia will ya" He knew they had been listening to the conversation so he didn't have to elaborate.

"Sure, come on Lu-chan" Levy said, as she and Lucy walked towards the door.

"I guess while they do that I'll run home and pack" Gray said walking towards the door. He needed a cigarette and to clear his head after what he just learned, and he still had this mysterious mission to deal with on top of it all.

* * *

><p><em>30 minutes later<em>

Gajeel heard Levy's voice shouting his name from his pocket and knew she was trying to contact him via her Cana card(a magic card that allows two people to contact one another). Knowing Levy would only use this in an emergency, he wasted no time responding.

"What's wrong shorty?" He said holding the card out.

"Gajeel it's about Juvia, we're bringing her back, but you need to get Porlyusica to the guild quick. Send Jet." A very panicked and clearly upset Levy shouted.

Jet, having heard his small friend's orders was out the door before anyone could react.

"Hes goin now, Levy what's wrong with Juvia?" A now very worried Gajeel asked.

"I'll tell you when we get there, Loke is bringing her...it's bad Gajeel...really bad."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Gray returned to his apartment and started throwing clothes in his bag. <em>Why didnt she ever mention any of that to me<em> he asked himself. _Maybe Mira's right, I have been pushing her away, but its for her own good. Everyone I love dies, Mom, Dad, Ur, Ultear...hell the only one who hasn't is Lyon. Why cant anyone see I keep her pushed away so she wont die. Its better for her this way...its safer. _

He sat on his bed and took the picture from his night stand in his hand. It was a picture of him and Juvia from the Grand Magic Games when they did their Unison Raid. _Who am I kidding, we'll be the death of each other. _He sighed as he gave the picture another glance as he put it down to head back to the Guild.

* * *

><p>It had been an hour since Gray had left the guild to go home when he returned. To say he was confused at what he saw when he walked in would be an understatement. For 8 pm on a Friday night the guild should have been loud with people laughing, shouting, arguing and fighting. it should be filled with his friends and guildmates getting drunk and having fun. Insted what Gray saw was anything but fun.<p>

No one was talking. Groups were huddled together, and a few of the girls were crying. Cana was sitting between Wakaba and Macao, crying into Macao's shoulder. Not a drink in sight amongst the three of them. Romeo was on the other side of his father, hugging him tightly, neither one of them allowing the tears to fall from their eyes. Similar scenes played out throughout the guild.

Gray walked over to the table where Lucy was holding a crying Happy as she cried into Natsu's scarf. Gray looked to Erza who was sitting across from the rest of her team, a stoic look on her face as tears fell silently from her left eye.

"Erza, what's going on?" Gray asked, hoping to get some explanation to the odd sight.

Erza looked to the ice mage, but before she could muster the strength to answer Master Makarov entered the guild hall from the infirmary. Standing on the bar he cleared his throat to address his children.

"My children, today our family has suffered a great loss. Many of you were here when she was brought in, but some of you weren't. It seems our own Juvia Lockser took her own life today. While she lost her battle with some nasty demons today, we must remember her as we knew her best. As a strong water mage and proud member of our family."

"What happened?" "How?" some guild members asked. Gray didn't know who, all he knew was that he felt like he was falling. His world crumbling. _NO, this can't be true. This must be some trick. Yeah, a trick, to teach me a lesson….No Juvia would never go along with that. she wouldn't think anything like this would be funny. And she knew I wouldn't find it funny. Why would she take her own life? If she was troubled why didn't she try talking to someone? Wait, what if she did? I'll kill the bastards who didn't help her...why didn't she come to me?...Baka, she did, and you were the cold bastard that pushed her away time after time._

Gray was crying and for once he didn't give a shit who saw. This was his fault. As much as he wanted to run out of the guild he couldn't find the strenght to move. he couldn't even find the strenght to go to the infirmary, where he was guessing her body was. Not that they would let him in. He knew Gajeel and Levy must be in there, and like hell they'd let the bastard that caused this to see her.

"We'll have a funeral in 3 days, so that our friends from other guilds can pay their respects as well." Makarov was saying, "She left a note, with kind words for all of us, and Gajeel has asked that I read it to you all. So listen up…" He then hands the letter to Laxus who proceeds to read it to the guild for his grandfather who had become too overcome with tears.

_My dearest family, I am sorry it has come to this. I am sorry for doing this to you but the pain, the pain it just too much for me to take any longer. I know that simply leaving the guild and Magnolia would not do, I would still feel this pain. I want each and every one of you to know how much I loved my time in Fairy Tail. It has truely been the best days of my life. But even at my best, the pain of not being loved and wanted has never gone away. _

_To the girls of Fairy Hills, thank you. Thank you for making me feel like I had sisters for the first time. Thank you for always looking after me, and comforting me when the world turned its back._

_Lucy, you were the first girl who ever befriended me. I knew we were meant to be great friends from the time we did the unison raid. You have great strength within you, waiting for you to unleash it. You just need to believe in yourself. I always called you love rival, but in truth, i knew it wasn't true. I know who you love, and I know the feeling is mutual, you just gotta tell him, before its too late. Please watch out for Levy, shes gonna need your strength especially when Gajeel drives her crazy. _

_Erza, you are the strength of the guild, a trait I have always admired. You showed me the strenght of a S class wizard, and more than anything you showed me the strength of friendship. Thank you for that….oh and theres a strawberry cake for you in my freezer._

_Natsu, you're hot head who likes to pick fights at the worst times. dont ever change. thank you for always standing up for me. Tell her soon._

_Happy, I will miss fishing with you. you should share our secret spot with Lily and Carla. And dont forget how bad the green fish were._

_Lisana thank you for being my partner in the S class trials. Thank you for being there when i pushed everyone else away when things were too hard for me especially after what happened with the dragons. _

_Gray. My dearest. Im so sorry for everything I did to you. I never knew love my whole life, and I realize now that I went overboard trying to show you my feelings. I never meant to bug you. You were right to say you didn't want me around. I dont even want me around. In the end too much water will destroy ice. At least now you won't be at risk. I know I've told you before, but thank you for taking the rain away. The blue sky was the most beautiful thing while it lasted. My darling please dont beat yourself up about Ultear, her sacrifice saved so many of us. It wasnt your fault, and in the end it was HER CHOICE. We all make choices that will save those we care about. Keep Lyon close, he needs you more than he lets on, and I know you need him too. I love you so much. Please find someone who will make you as happy as you made me. _

_To the rest of my Fairy Tail family, I love you all so much. But this is becoming too hard to finish. Take care of yourselves, and each other. _

_All my love,_

_Juvia_

The guild was silent as everyone took in the words Juvia had left them. The only sounds made were the sobs of the Ice Mage. No one spoke, no one moved for what seemed like eons. Finally Mira, noticing Gray was starting to freeze everything around him, went to the man. "Gray, what do you need?" she asked.

After thinking for a moment he finally spoke, in a barely audible whisper, "I need to see her"

"I donno if thats a good idea Gray, her body was pretty messed up when Loke brought her in"

"I didn't ask your opinion on her looks Mira, I need to see her. For myself. I need to know this is real. Just….just let me see her…"

Mira looked to Erza for the ex-quip mages opinion. Erza stood up and looked to her broken friend, "Come on Gray, I'll go with you"

* * *

><p>When Gray entered the infirmary the sights before him were hard to process. The first thing he saw was Gajeel, the punk ass iorn dragon slayer, one of the strongest, biggest men he's ever known crying like a baby, clutching what he assumed was a letter from Juvia in his hand. Little Levy desperately trying to comfort the man who had just lost his best friend and closest thing he has to a sister.<p>

The next thing Gray saw broke what little was left holding him together. There she was, lying on the bed, almost like she was sleeping. _Well she is sleeping, just a never-ending sleep. _She was wearing a icy blue spaghetti strapped dress that hit mid thigh, a pair of silver stiletto heels, and a blue crystal heart necklace. _She looks beautiful...she always looked beautiful. _

He then noticed her hands held something clutched to her chest. "Erza" He said meekly "did yall put her like this...what is she holding"

"No Gray, they found her dressed like this, I don't know what she's holding, just that no one could pry it out of her hands" Erza replied, tears in her voice.

Gray sat in the chair next to Juvia's bed, and carefully, as if he was touching the most delicate thing in the world, touched her hands to see what she had been looking at.

It was as if even in death her body reacted only to his touch, releasing the grip she had, allowing Gray to retrieve the items. What he saw broke the last threads of sanity he had left.

In one hand she held the same picture of the two of them Gray had been looking at just hours before. The same picture he looked at every night and awoke to every morning. In the other hand she had held a note addressed to him. It only had seven words written on it _Gray-sama, Juvia will always love you. Forever._

He placed the picture back in her hand and used his maker magic to craft a rose of ice and placed it in her other hand. He placed her note in his pocket, and placed a kiss on her forehead. _Shes cold...my Juvia was warm...and now she's cold and I'm dead inside._

He started walking out of the infirmary, glancing back for one last look and then he walked out. He could feel his tears falling on his chest, having lost his shirt at some point. He clutched on to the note in his pocket, it was his last connection to her and the only thing keeping him connected to this new reality. _Shes gone...it didn't work..she still died. And now the only person I cared about is gone._ He walked towards the guild doors, needing to escape.

"Oi ice face" Natsu said running up to him as he walked out of the guild "you OK man?"

"Yeah...I just need to get some air man...I think I'm gonna go home" He replied turning his back to the pink haired man.

"K, Luce and I will come check on ya tomorrow."

"Hey Natsu" Gray said looking at his boots "don't make her wait man. Tell her you love her, before you miss your chance." And with that he walked away from his best friend.

* * *

><p>The following afternoon.<p>

"Natsu are you sure we should be doing this, he probably just wants to be alone" Lucy said as the two walked up the steps to Gray's apartment.

"Luce, I got a bad feeling. I just gotta check, besides, I told him we'd stop by today" Natsu said as they got to the door. Banging on the door he yelled "Hey ice bastard, open up! "

Nothing.

"Maybe he's not home Natsu..."

"No" the dragon slayer said, sniffing tell air. "Hes here...but...something smells off...Lucy stay here, don't come in unless I tell you" with that he kicked open the door and entered the apartment.

When he got to the bedroom he couldn't believe his eyes. "LUCY GO GET THE MASTER!" He yelled before stepping further into the room.

There was Gray lying on his bed. He was dressed in his black pants, combat boots, white shirt and coat and the scarf Juvia had made him. He had a picture clutched in his hand and a not in the other. Natsu looked around the room, noticing several empty Whiskey bottles lying around the bed, and it looked like a couple more had been shattered against the wall.

Natsu just stood there in shock, not noticing how much time had passed until he heard the Master walk up next to him. "I was afraid something like this would happen. We should have kept an eye on him. Natsu, did you notice a note lying around?"

"There's one in his hand" He replied scanning the room "and one on the bedside table" He said picking up the note on the table first. "Ice is nothing without water. I learned that too late.. Gramps what's that mean? WHY isn't it like the note Juvia left?"

"Gray was never big on saying saying a lot. He could say a lot with a few words. I get what he meant. What's the other note say?" Was the only thing the old man would say.

Natsu got the other note from Gray's hand reading it quickly. "Huh...this one smells like Juvia...it has both their hand writing on it. Hers says 'Gray-sama Juvia will always love you. Forever' and his says 'Gray will always love Juvia. Forever'"

"Put it back in his hand Natsu. Then bring him to the guild. Looks like we have more arrangements to make. I'll need your help, and we need to contact Lyon."

* * *

><p>Two days later.<p>

A double funeral was held for the ice and water mages. Their Fairy Tail family thought this would be for the best, especially considering neither mage had family outside of the guild (save for Lyon of course). Mages and non mages from all over Fiore were in attendance, it was a surprise to no one that the two had touched so many people in their journeys.

Gray and Juvia were buried next to each other in the cemetery of the Magnolia cathedral with a joint headstone. The inscription on the back reading _Here lies Juvia Lockser and Gray Fullbuster together in death as in life, one could not be without the other. _

Fin.


End file.
